I am not ready. I am not ready to stand alone on the world’s edge without my darling brother Donald. I am not ready not to have brunch with him at Victor’s, where I am always late and he is always rolling his eyes. I am not ready not to go to the Hollywood Bowl with him and Carl and Tim this summer. I am not ready to not hear his voice on the phone. I am not ready to not see him at Landis at his desk. I am not ready to not see him at art openings and say with great pride, “this is my big brother” to any who will hear. Donald, I am just not ready. When can I be ready? Donald, I am just really not ready.